Experts Share The Subtle Signs To Spot A Narcissist

When you hear a person described as a “narcissist,” you probably have an idea of what to expect: someone who’s extremely self-centered and arrogant, right? Well, as with many aspects of the mind and mental health, it’s a little more complicated than that. If you really want to be able to spot a narcissist, you need to keep your eyes open for a whole host of different signs.

The original narcissist

The original narcissist was Narcissus himself, a character in Greek myth. He was a man of incredible beauty who loved himself so much that he spurned all other romantic advances. Hopefully this isn't ringing any bells yet... The story goes that when Echo, a mountain nymph cursed not to speak unless it was to repeat someone else’s words, fell in love with him, he rejected her so cruelly that she pined to death. Then, perhaps as punishment, Narcissus became so obsessed with his own reflection in a pool of water that he eventually wasted away. And finally he transformed into the flower of the same name.

What is narcissism?

Modern narcissists don’t generally turn into flowers, but they do tend to be self-obsessed like Narcissus. It's also important to distinguish between people with narcissistic tendencies and those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Lots of people can be narcissistic, but not all of them will have NPD. It's a spectrum. NPD tends to be when someone shows “extreme manifestation” of these narcissistic traits, as developmental psychologist Eddie Brummelman puts it. And there are some clear ways to spot this.

Narcissists vs. psychopaths

Here's a key thing to know: all psychopaths are narcissists, but not every narcissist will be a psychopath. It's easy to throw these kinds of terms around interchangeably, but they are distinct psychological disorders. One important difference? While narcissists may do bad things to others, they probably still feel guilty and ashamed. Psychopaths, on the other hand, do not feel bad for their actions. Interestingly, only around 1% of the population meets the criteria to be diagnosed as a narcissist. So what are those criteria?

Meeting the narcissist criteria

How exactly do we define Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Let’s go to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. This is the Bible when it comes to diagnosing mental illnesses in America. It has a list of nine narcissistic traits, but to meet the NPD criteria, you must have at least five of them. That means you can have up to four narcissistic traits and still not be diagnosed as a narcissist.